Where Parenting & Culture Collide

I remember, as a teen, occasionally thinking my Mom was crazy. I now know, that at the very same moment, she was thinking I was the crazy one. The other day I was looking over my teens shoulder as she checked Instagram. After a few snarky comments from me such as, "seriously, they are taking a picture of their Starbucks drink?! Imagine if they drank a hot chocolate and WE NEVER KNEW ABOUT IT! That would be terrible!" I asked, "how many people are you following?" The answer: 203. Now, before I tell you that I was shocked by that number and found it ridiculous, I should confess something. I have been very slow to jump on the social media bandwagon (I just recently created a Facebook account and have no idea how it works). I have nothing against social media. I think it is neither inherently good or bad, just like a hammer is neither good nor bad. If you use a hammer to fix something, good. If you use a hammer to knock some sense into your child, bad. Same with socia...

I've read several books on teenagers and parenting teens. This book has had the biggest impact. It has absolutely altered my world view as well as my parenting. The two things I disliked first: the title (silly I know, but Teen 2.0 is not very descriptive, although the subtitle is a help). The second thing is that this book is HUGE. The biggest parenting book I've ever bothered with. It is a hefty 535 pages, but take heart, it is only 376 if you don't count the appendix and index. Such a large appendix and index are evidence of the thorough research the author has done, which isn't surprising as he holds a Ph.D. and is a professor of psychology. Now, why I love this book. Epstein takes some basic assumptions I held (and you do too, I suspect) about adolescence and smashes them. Absolutely destroys them. I love this! It is largely why I love travel, as a side note. We all hold certain things to be self-evident and true based on our experience and culture, but when ...

    Ever been to a potluck of appetizers? You know it isn't really a dinner, there is no broccoli to get through, just a spinach dip that has almost nothing to do with spinach. Everything is so yummy, you have a bite of this and a bite of that until you walk away completely satisfied, thinking "That was so good!" That is what it is like to read Richard Peck's two novels.They charm you and touch you and leave you feeling buoyant and a bit melancholy at the same time. All that in under 150 pages (per book). When I can't find time to read, it is soul sucking for me. If you feel yourself driven crazy because you can't find time to read, pick up A Long Way from Chicago. Even if you only have 15 minutes, you will feel satisfied. I LOVED both books.

Oh, sighhhh! I voice of sanity amidst the madness. What a relief it was to read this book! By nature, I am not an overly protective parent. I leaned free-range before I picked up this book. Still, this book freed me from so much fear and anxiety, it was completely empowering. Skenazy sums it up this way, "Free-Range Kids is a commonsense approach to parenting in these overprotective times."   We are raising our kids in an era of manufactured fear. It is so hard not to by into all the hype when it comes to our kids.  Skenazy does a brilliant job of evaluating our overblown fears and works to give us a realistic perspective.When my mom was a kid, she didn't wear a seat belt in the car and she roamed outside with her siblings with little supervision. Skenazy would say there is no question- our kids should wear seat belts, it keeps them safer. They should also be allowed outside to play, even without you standing guard the whole time. Crime rates happen to be lower then whe...

Last week, I was in the grocery store with my four year old son. He was upset about something, I can't remember what, perhaps my refusal to buy goldfish crackers. At any rate, he was crying. We passed an older gentleman who looked at him and said, "You're too old to be crying." Somehow it just struck me all wrong. If I had been standing there with a four year old girl, I'd be willing to bet he never would have told her she was too old to be crying. I have three daughters and I have been vastly irritated at the messages the world sends them- be thin, be sexy, make it all look effortless. I've spent considerable amounts of time trying to deconstruct those messages with my daughters. Today it was my sons turn. I looked right at him and said, "of course your not too old to cry. If you feel sad, you can cry. You never get too old to cry." And I hugged him (which was nice, though he would have preferred the crackers). According to Brene Brown, the insid...

Books have changed my life. Many have changed the way I parent, sometimes just a little. Sometimes radically. Sometimes a little change will bring about radical results. All from a book. Below are some of the parenting books that have transformed me. I remember fighting EVERY morning with my daughter over brushing her hair. At the end of our morning ritual, she was in tears and I was in a rage. I was venting to another mom about this and other struggles and she said, "you should read The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron." I did. It was a window into the soul of my daughter. I am not "highly sensitive." Highly bossy, overbearing, critical and ornery- yes. Highly sensitive- no. I gained a new understanding of my daughter, her strengths and how she interacts with the world. Based on advice in the book (it said these kids are often perfectionists and like to meet expectations, but they need to know what to expect) I tried a new approach. The next morning I said ...